you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
