Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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