Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
