Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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