Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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