I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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