Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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