he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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