none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
