I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
