my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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