If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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