I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
