I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
