Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
