So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
