If that was your dad, he is hot
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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