we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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