so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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