fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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