White coat. Heels.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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