booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
