oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
