I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I want to be your penis for a week.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
