Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize