Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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