You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
