ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
