"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
And then he peed in my hair
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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