The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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