Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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