she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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