this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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