I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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