but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
