Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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