He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
