That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
