Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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