Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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