There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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