Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
