My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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