just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think we sleep fucked last night...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
