i just identified you from a description of your pipe
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
