3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
