I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Screwed.edu
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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