Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
