i don't like sucking hair
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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