I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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