how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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