So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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