They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
