some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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