she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
