Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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