if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
