were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
