I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
