my being single is dangerous.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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