i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
