i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
