Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
