So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
