I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
