Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
