weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
