so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
